Well, I’m afraid facebook has really destroyed me for doing family blogging, but I am resolved to do better and this is my first new effort toward that end.

That said, even though I have lived in Alabama most of my life, I have to admit that Christmas in Alabama almost always bring me one specific disappointment; no snow.  As a rational adult, I know better than to even hope for snow in Alabama in December, but like most Americans, I’ve seen so many Christmas movies that somehow, deep down, I really seem to feel that Christmas Eve and Christmas Day ought to be celebrated (everywhere) draped in about 3-6 inches of beautiful white fresh fallen snow.

This is completely irrational and I know it.  Aside from that, as  a Christian, it is doubly irrational because the celebration of the incarnation has NOTHING to do with weather.  Still, I want snow, and oft complain about the lack thereof while wearing my shorts on Christmas morning.  Crazy.

All that said . . , one of the recurring jokes around the Hardgrave home during the holidays when talk of snow arises is something like “Well, there’s always March” (because of the winter storm in 93)   Now that may not sound strange to many, but given the fact that we have actually broken ground on gardens in March before, it always tickles me a bit.

Well, today “There’s always March” finally yielded forth it’s promise.  Today, March first brought a whole load of big flaky snow and as I write this, I am sitting by the fire full of hot chocolate.  Kathryn and I listened to Christmas music on the way to Church this morning, and when we all got home, our girls had their first real snow ball fight.  God is good.  :-)

“Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change.” ~ James 1:17

Lily:

“Grandma Jennifer’s Sign-up” (Understood by Lily to be the chorus of “We’re marching to Zion”)

“You are Whole-Louise” (Understood by Lily to be the chorus of “God of Wonders”)

Kathryn:

(EVERY night during family prayer) “Dear God . . . and thank you that I get to go to kindergarten. Amen”

Sarah:

(talking about what she learned in school one day) “Satan’s name was Lucifer, that means light-bearer and he used to the lead the music in heaven, just like you Daddy!”

(ouch.)

The always lovely Angela after choir rehearsal

Sarah, Kathryn and Lily at our Church’s Independence Day  Picnic

Kathryn, Lily and Sarah during a summer “Dr. Seuss Day” 

Well it is hard to believe (at least for Mom and Dad) , but Sarah and Kathryn are both now in school.  Both were very excited about their first day, but Kathryn has been waiting for so long to be able to go to school like her big sister, she’s been downright giddy about the the whole thing.  

After having had almost two week of school, I’m glad to say that Kathryn’s enthusiasm hasn’t waned a bit.  She seems to love everything about Kindergarten, but is quick to tell you that her favorite “subject” is lunch.  Oh for the days . .  . 

I (David writing) really like to update the blog (even just adding pictures) when I feel that I’ve got something to say that is somehow profound, sublime, challenging, or at least minimally witty. These days, however, moments (and/or thoughts) of any of the above are almost unheard of (yes, I did end the sentence with a preposition, but my 8th grade English teacher assured me that that makes it an adverb). It could be that I’m actually becoming a better judge of what I might say and hence am realizing that I may never have actually had anything to say that truly fell into one of the above categories, or it could be that parenthood is just melting my brain. At this point, I’m really at peace with either option.

At any rate, having no material of late that falls into the afore mentioned categories, today I am motivated by something much more powerful.

Guilt.

So for all of you, our dear friends, who have said so many times, “you’ve got to update your blog,”
I yield.

This one’s for you.

Every year, I try to do some sort of garden with the girls (that is, the little ones who have to do what I tell them). It’s often hard to justify the time, but I have such great memories of the gardens that my mom planted every year and the acres of land that my uncles kept cultivated around my Grandmother’s house, that I just can’t imagine my children growing up not knowing the joy of it all. I know that they’ll never sit with any of their grandmothers shelling bushels of “butter beans” and “shucking” wheel-barrel loads of freshly picked corn as I did, but I’m hoping that, in some way, somehow, our small garden plot will help to yield the kind of virtue that Mr. Jefferson seemed to think was so closely connected to agriculture. No, I’m not trying to raise “tomato-huggers,” but I’ve got to say that there’s just something about the sights, smells, and textures of a garden that seem to refresh the soul and be almost “innately” good. It’s really hard to identify exactly, but well articulated or not, I know that I don’t want my girls to miss it.

So every year we do a garden,

and much to their father’s delight, the girls (the children, not my wife) really do seem to love it.

Sure, a garden is not the gospel, but nonetheless, God has revealed His attributes in creation (Psalm 19, Romans 1) and so just as the earth is “filled with the lovingkindess of the LORD” (psalm 33:5), in someway, I really believe that our little garden helps us each year to taste and perceive the goodness of God and the Glory of His handiwork in a very unique and tangible way.

(and I, for one, know, that they ONLY appropriate response to biting into a good, freshly-picked garden tomato is “Thanks be to God!”)

IN OTHER NEWS . . . .

This is me and my dear, sweet, ever-loving wife in Atlanta for the Georgia Marathon on March 25th. I’ve really got to hand it to her because she was the absolute best cheerleader I could have asked for. Over the 26.2 mile course, She and our friend, Beth Tinkham, managed to negotiate the roads and transit system of an unfamiliar town and to see us off at the start, meet us twice during the race, and again at the end to cheer us on as we crossed the finish line. Thanks so much Angela, you’re the best!

Here is a great shot of our friends, Matt and Beth, before the race that morning. Beth was just one week away from delivering their first baby, David Joshua, and yet was was more supportive and energetic that I could have imagined possible. Amazing.

Matt, you definitely married up (as did your running partner!)

AND FINALLY . . .

Here’s a few pictures from Kathryn’s 4th Birthday Party. Given that Angela couldn’t be at Kathryn’s party last year due to the circumstances surrounding her brother Michael’s funeral, it felt like a big deal for our little family to all be together this year for Kathryn’s birthday party. Thanks so much to all of you who came and/or sent Kathryn cards and presents. She had a great birthday and couldn’t have been any happier.

“For to us a child is born,
to us a son is given;
and the government shall be upon his shoulder,
and his name shall be called
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace.
Of the increase of his government and of peace
there will be no end,
on the throne of David and over his kingdom,
to establish it and to uphold it
with justice and with righteousness
from this time forth and forevermore.
The zeal of the LORD of hosts will do this”

~ Isaiah 9:6-7 (ESV)

Come quickly, Lord Jesus.

Merry Christmas from the Hardgraves

Well, the summer is over and the Fall is finally here! Here’s a few picture from the last few months at the Hardgrave home. The one above is Sarah’s recreation of our “last hurah” of the season, a day-trip that we took to the beach for Labor Day. I was pretty impressed.

Lily loved the birds. The birds loved Cheeze nips.

Kathryn has wanted to go to school with Sarah so so badly. To help her come to grips a litte bit with Sarah now being gone for school, we let her dress up in one of Sarah’s uniforms and ride in to school with Sarah and see her classroom. We walked in, the funniest thing happened. All of Sarah’s friends just kinda stopped what they were doing to stare at us. Finally one them broke the silence (that I didn’t quite comprehend) and said “which one is Sarah?”

Every other saturday or so, we have chocoate chip pancake day. As you can see, Lily loves it.

The girls all playing by the pool on a wonderful 4th of July morning.

The girls all love to swim. Lily is no exception!

After swimming in the morning, David and Sarah went to the local driving range. That’s Sarah above on the way home cooling off with some Gatorade.

Sarah scoping out the lay of the land.

Notice the rusted out truck on the left? For the those of you not from the beloved South, I’ll let you in on a little secret. The way you can tell that this is a driving range and not just a pasture is that the truck is sitting on it’s own tires rather than blocks. (By the way, the truck is affectionately known as “Mater,” as in “Toe-mater,” a red juicy vegetable suitable as a meat subsitute on some sandwiches)

It’s a hit! (Sarah, not me)

This is a great picture for two reasons.

1) Sarah took it. (Not bad for a 5 year old!)

2) It shows just how terrible I am right now at golf. Yes, I have completed the swing and yes, the ball is only about 2 inches off the ground and about to drop right back to were it was before I started my swing. Shameful, I know, but there it is.
An now, on to some Memorial Day Pictures . . .

Many thanks to my Aunt Suise and Uncle Bill who invited us to their condo on Pawley’s Island, South Carolina for the weekend. The whole family had a fabulous time. I think we would live there if we could. The girls are still talking about it. But alas . . .

Sarah as a sand mermaid. Finishing touches complements of my artistically gifted sister, Amanda Smith.

Kathryn and Lily making Sand Castles. Man, did they love the sand.

Remember the end of the “Mary Poppins?” . . . .well, this is me flying a kite with the kids (they are there, just off camera, I promise). If you didn’t learn anything else from that movie, at the very least, you should take away that as a father, you should voluntarily fly kites with your children least some magical nanny have to come to your house, turn your life upside down and make you lose your job so that you’ll have plenty of time to do it then. . . “Let’s go fly a kite!”

Another great shot of Lily. She loves the camera.
And last but not least, below is a picture from Sarah’s dance recital. Way too cute!

Other than being a little bit scared and out of sorts upon waking up from the quick procedure, Kathryn did great this morning and according to the Doctor, everything went fine. If all goes as planned Kat will be hearing great and quoting Shakespear (O.K. well probably Dora) before you know it!
Thanks be to God!

There’s a great old Hymn by William Cowper (1731-1800) that containes the following stanza:

Judge not the Lord by feeble sense,
But trust Him for His grace;
Behind a frowning providence
He hides a smiling face.

The last month has been a pretty tough one in our home. Besides all of the sickness that has been going around the house, We are most saddened to have to report that Angela’s brother, Michael Belcher, passed away on Monday, March 13th, only weeks after haveing been diagnosed with lung cancer. (Michael and his oldest son, Jesse, are pictured above)

There’s so much to say about Michael and how much he will be missed that to adequately begin would require so much more than a webblog could accomadate. Frankly, it just wouldn’t do it justice to attempt to do so here, so please forgive our intentional brievity. Suffice it to say that he is “remembered” by hundreds and maybe thousands of living memorials, those being the family and friends that he loved so much.

These days have indeed been a “Frowning Providence” for us, but we have, in so many ways and by so many people, been warmly reminded that God does indeed “hide a smile” behind all of the things that we strugle to endure and even comprehend.

When placed against the backdrop of death and loss, the blessings of life and family come into sharp relief and focus. You hold your children just a little tighter and longer with each hug, linger longer in that phone conversation you thought you didn’t have time for and perhaps most importantly, you realize that eternity is not nearly as distant a reality as we tend to lull ourselves into thinking that it is.

To all of you who have encouraged us, prayed for Angela and her family, called us, brought us dinner, helped us with the girls and done so many other things, we thank you so much. God’s mercy to us has come through you.

Well, on a lighter, but related note, during all of this, Kathrn turned three years old. Her party was scheduled after to be the Saturday after Michael’s funeral. If not for the fact that we had to cancel Kathryn’s last Birthday party (stomach virus) we would have cancelled this one. However, even though Angela couldn’t make it, we went ahead and held it just as planned (Thanks so much Mom, Emily, Elaine and Nick for helping out!) and Kathryn had a blast. I’ve included some picture’s below. Hope you enjoy . . .

Well, if you have talked to us lately, you probably already know this, but things are going great with Lily. Despite the normal sibling stuff, Sarah and Kathryn both really love her and often make it a point to thank God for Lily when we say prayers together at bed and before our meals. It’s really sweet.
On Monday of this week, Angela took Lily to the International Adoption Clinic based at UAB and everything that we’ve heard so far has been good. They thought that she seemed to be bonding well and suggested the her outgoing personality testified strongly to the fact that she was with a foster family for the last year rather than in the orphange.
We have read the the initial transition and bonding process with children in fostercare could be really traumatic, but the “trade-off” if you will, is that the children from foster care do tend to be able to really make an attachment quicker. The folks at the international clinic menitoned all this again and added that Lily seemed to be doing well emotionally as well as physically.

Yesterday, February 16th, was our one month anniversary of Lily’s “adoption” day. It’s hard to believe that’s its been a full month since we paced with anticipation with our friends, the Whitlocks, in that government office in the freezing cold city of Changchun, China.

Given all the excitment, there’s not been a lot of time of for deep reflection, but we can not say enough about how good God has been to us. Despite the fatigue involved with keeping three preschoolers (fatigue mostly comes from Lily and Kathryn) safe, feed, sleeping, learning and loved, it was been wonderful to have a full house. On top of that, I just can’t say enough about how wonderful you, our friends and family have been to us. On top of having a reception/shower for us this past Sunday, there have been countless words of encouragement and acts of Kindness. We’ve really just been overwhelmed by everyone’s love and kindess.

The girls playing with blankets. This is a great game as you can both play “Peek-a-boo” and be an eskimo princess at the same time!

Lily in an outfit that Nettie Jones gave her at our reception Sunday. You can’t tell it from her expression here, but she LOVES new clothes just like her two sisters do.

Before starting this post, Angela left to run some errands and take some much deserved “alone time” while doing so. Since I started writing this post (now three hours ago), I’ve intervened in countless “sharing” issues, changed a few diapers (Full diapers), dealt with a couple of tantrums and managed to not notice until this moment that Kathryn is wearing her blue jeans backwards. It’s been fun, but I have once again been reminded how thankful I need to be for my dear wife who spends 90+% of her waking hours keeping the kids alive and loved. And for the record, I’ve never seen any of the kids’ pants on backwards when she’s in charge.

(By the way, Sarah wants to help me post, so she’s adds “I love you Aunt Susie!”)
Things are getting closer to “normal” and we are starting to make some real progress in re-establishing our routines. We may even get back to our diet here soon. If we don’t, the new outfits are going to have be for Dad(me). Let’s hope it doesn’t come to that!

PS – Our posting has been and will be, I am sure, somewhat erratic for the foreseeable future. If you would like to get our posts when they are new, you can use your browser or email client (Mozzilla Thunderbird is incredible and free) to subscribe to our site’s RSS feed.  You can get it here.